another

I was going through an old notebook to find that Shaw quote and I came upon this one as well. It was on the sleeve of my Starbucks drink last year when I visited Boston for an audition. Wildly fitting for an audition trip and I think for this next stage in my life.


"The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life." --Anne Morris

blog block

As I started my blog, I looked at lots of tips from successful, existing bloggers. One that stuck out to me was, "Blog every single day." And I've been finding that so difficult! Why can't I find at least one interesting thing to say every day? I find things interesting! I'm interesting!

That's why I moved to Minneapolis. I didn't want my life to become just "work, rehearsal, eat, sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat." I can't let my life revolve around my survival job hours. I want to create. I want to always be doing something new. Something INTENTIONAL. I read through more of Jess's site today, and I can't wait to start my life design. The concept is a little harder to grasp than I thought it would be, but I think it'll just come to me. It has to start with purging the things in my life that are useless and stress me out, including habits.

Do I INTEND to sit on facebook for hours? No. Do I INTEND to let the dishes sit in the sink for weeks? No. Do I INTEND to neglect my script work? Absolutely not. So why do I do it? These are all things that stress me out, and when it comes down to it, they are so very changeable. I want the things I do and own to be intentional. Instead of a random, floaty, nebulous existence. Purposeful and meaningful.


"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one: the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown out on the scrap heap, the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy." --George Bernard Shaw

makeunder my life

I found this blog a couple weeks ago, and while I haven't given myself the time to really dig deep into it, I'm already intrigued and totally in agreement with it. I read tons of articles on how to simplify your life, how to minimize your stuff, or how to manage the extra crap.

But what struck me about Jess's site was the phrase "designing a life with intention."

THAT is what I want from my life. I want it to be intentional. I want the things I own to be intentional, the things I do to be intentional. So starting this weekend, I'm going through every inch of her site and challenging myself to begin re-designing my life. With intention.

Here's Jess's brilliant site. The newest post is a guest post by one of my favorite style bloggers, Kendi from Kendi Everyday. Follow her. She's hilarious and beautiful and has two blogs!

I have a dinosaur obsession...

...and this is AWESOME.

finally!

I've been trying (forever!) to figure out how to create my own header! This one is really simple, but it's all I wanted, really! I downloaded Picasa from Google, and bam! Header! Photo creds go to Amy Waala for capturing my craziness at the peephole. I tried futzing with the page's background color, but nothing seemed right. White seemed so blah, but then I scrolled through the blogs I really like, and they all have white backgrounds! So I'm keeping it.

I have two auditions lined up for the weekend, and sent out some emails in response to student films on craigslist. I emailed a lot of people on craigslist for acting gigs, but now I see so many things on there that are just shady, or I don't get replies from anyone, so I've stopped taking a lot of stuff on craigslist seriously. Ads have to be really articulate and intelligent for me to pay any attention to them now. If you don't want to proofread your ad to see if you spelled "film" correctly, I'm probably not going to contact you.

I don't know what it is about the Twin Cities, but their stoplights are extremely temperamental. It took me 45 minutes to get to rehearsal tonight (it usually takes 10...) because every stoplight from here to St. Paul was out. Convenient. And also, Minnesota, who ever heard of making a merge lane and an exit one and the same? That's just asking for road rage.

Happy first day of autumn, everyone. I leave you with this clip I rewound a million times when it aired for the first time. Enjoy.
edit: Since finding this treasure an hour ago, I've watched it at least 8 times. Hilarious every time.

recycling

I've gotten into the bad habit of wearing two outfits a day. I get all dressed up for work, and then I come home and put something comfier on for rehearsal. And then I discover a way I can dress up the comfy-ness, so I wear it to work the next morning. But then I have to change again for rehearsal, otherwise my castmates will think I'm a dirty slob who never changes her clothes. So it's a vicious cycle of wearing every outfit twice....just with different underwear.

I'm hoping my work outfit today isn't TOO casual. I've got a jacket on (the first time I've worn it since I bought it....which was over a year ago while I lived in NY), but I'm also pairing it with fairly casual boots. And jeans.

I was hoping to get some pictures on my walk to work today to share, but I can't seem to find my charger for my camera....so I might have to settle for pics off my phone.

Happy Tuesday, all. It's warm again here :)

P.S. I didn't realize just how much I was torturing myself last night with my Anthropologie and Aldo browsing. I actually dreamed about those motorcycle boots and woke up expecting to see them in my closet. ....le sigh....

please? k thanks.

Sometimes I like to torture myself by spending hours browsing websites full of pretty things I can't afford. Someone please buy me this outfit.

and so it begins

Well my first real disappointment in the professional world came today. I'm not heartbroken, but it just made the reality of my career a little clearer. I had two auditions this weekend for two shows I would have loved to be a part of. The first I was called back for, the second I was not. I haven't heard from the second show yet, but not being called back generally isn't a good sign. The callback for the other show went really well (in my opinion), but I got an email today saying they had to decided to go another way with casting. Not the end of the world by any means, but it's always disappointing when you get your hopes up.

Because I did so well in my last few years of college and in La Crosse, I'm not used to not getting cast in some capacity. It sounds arrogant, but it's true. But it was a much smaller talent pool, with people who were closer to me. I got lucky that my first audition here brought me my first professional gig. It's a big city here, and there are people who've done/learned/know so much more than me. So what do I need to do? STEP IT UP.

Not getting cast just made me confront how hard I'm going to have to work to find continuous employment in the theatre.  I can do it, I know I can. And in the meantime, I will continue to sell ridiculously priced sweaters to middle-aged women. I seem to be excelling in that area.

my parking lot...

...is a strange place. At this very moment, there are two men boxing out there. Literally. Gloves and all.

measure your life in love

Reason #624 on my list of Why I Love my Boyfriend: Free Guthrie tickets. I have a night off of rehearsal, so what do I get to do? Get myself all gussied up and go see a night of free awesome theatre. Granted, I'll be doing it alone, as Z has his training for work tonight, but what do I get to do this Saturday? Oh, you guessed it! Get myself all gussied up and go see a night of free awesome theatre WITH my boyfriend! I think I like Minneapolis.

I have potatoes in the oven, and they seem to be squealing. That's not going to stop me from devouring them.

I think my left foot is allergic to exercise. Any time I try to stick it into a tennis shoe, it starts cramping and writhing and yelling things like, "No! I will not exercise! I hate this shoe!" And that's just embarrassing. You can't have your feet yelling in public.

While my weekend in La Crosse was anything but epic, it was a wonderful visit. I got to see most of my lovely friends, and I got a great night of theatre/my boyfriend in leather pants. Thanks to the cast of RENT for reminding me why I do what I do. "Revolution, justice, screaming for solutions, forcing changes, risking danger, making noise and making pleas!"

And BUZZARD EGGS. While the name is disgusting, in reality they are tiny nuggets of heaven. Jalapeno slices wrapped in pepperjack cheese, wrapped in chicken, all tied together with a bow-tie of bacon-y goodness. It doesn't get much better. Unless you add a Hazelnut Tiramisu martini. Which I did.

I felt a little bit like a rockstar at work today, overselling my goal and chatting it up with some really funny clients. The thing that irks me about retail is the lingo and how seriously everyone uses it. I just can't take it seriously! But I AM an actor, and I can sell it all right along with the best of them.

The potatoes are still squealing. I think they must be saying "Eat me!" Don't worry, potatoes, I'm coming!

Dear Minnesota,

What do you do to your drivers to make them INSANE? Stop it.

Love,
Lindsay

tights? shoes? sure...

This whole "working in fashion without owning a full length mirror" thing isn't going to fly.

Note to self: coffee=morning.

Remember the mug of coffee I had at 10 pm? Me too. It's what's preventing me from finding the motivation to put on some jammies, take out my contacts, and get my much-needed beauty sleep. Much-needed because I have to work at 9 am with 3 other women who are way more perky and stylish than yours truly.

Back in the days of my coffee addiction, caffeine never had an effect on me (unless you count the jackhammer withdrawal headaches I'd get if I skipped a cup). But now that I've kicked the habit and indulge in some java only when I am feeling truly selfish, caffeine likes to have its kinky way with me. For instance, tonight, I chose to chug down a travel mug in the 15 minutes I had between work and rehearsal. Halfway through, I started hearing mariachi music in my head and there was no point in restraining the dancing that followed. At least I was peppy for rehearsal, albeit with a few more spastic awkward comments than normal. 

I think someone is singing Aladdin songs in my parking lot.

"blogging is hard"

I've watched/read/attempted to navigate/wanted to destroy so many different HTML tutorials tonight that I think my brain might actually quit on me. Protest signs and everything. Long story short, I ended up not even messing with the html of my blog and just went for a simpler template with no header image that won't align right no matter how many curses I throw at it.

End product: Lindsay's blog is pretty (read: plain), and she doesn't want to impale herself on a rusty spork every time she looks at it.

I have no cohesive thought process tonight because of the mug of coffee I just drank (at 10 pm, so SMART), so I present you with:

THINGS THAT SCURRIED ACROSS LINDSAY'S MIND/LIFE TODAY:

1. When the one person/friend you have been hanging out with 24/7 for the past 3 weeks goes out of town, it is apparently appropriate to make the dirty dishes in your sink talk back to you as you threaten to run them under scalding water and purge them of their filth. Yes, they did scream as I followed through on my threats.

2. One of my castmates told me I looked like Luke Skywalker when I got to rehearsal tonight. Jedi or not, Mark Hamill is not an attractive man.

3. When in doubt, coffee solves all problems. Especially Vanilla Almond Creme coffee that you down in 10 minutes, therefore letting the caffeine rush into your bloodstream all at once.

4. Walking your bike down the street while wearing heels makes people stare at you like you have 5 heads. What? I can't be stylish and eco-friendly?

5. My bff is moving in across the hall from a man who has a dead cat nailed outside his door. I'm both a) worried that she'll end up at the bottom of a well while he lowers lotion to her in a basket, and b) getting ready for my close-up, in-depth interview regarding how I rescued her on "I Survived..."

6. Is it wrong to have a 5 oz. chicken breast and 2 bowls of ice cream for dinner? If that's wrong, then I don't want to/will never be right. *edit: Two pieces of toast for dessert. I am not ashamed.

7. Blog name = sappy and awful. New and improved-better-than-ever title = coming soon.

The end. La Crosse adventures to come this weekend. Epicness is expected.

Hello, Income, welcome back!

All right, nervously called *retail operation that I shall not name for fear of tarnishing their reputation with any horror stories I may tell in the future*, and I am officially a "stylist" on their staff! I'm giddy with excitement about the prospect of having money and a "fashion"-ish job. The job itself is actually further away with awful parking, but I instantly had the feeling that I would enjoy it more. I hope my instincts didn't fail me!

if i was richer, i'd still be with ya...

It's next to impossible to get Cee-Lo's song "F--- You" out of your head. It's been quietly playing in my brain for close to two weeks now. I love the song - just wish it was more appropriate to blast at high levels throughout my morning routine.

Today's weather is AWESOME! Not the kind of weather I want every day, but it's such a nice change from the heat and sweat. It's dark and very windy and chilly, but no rain, so playing outside in wonderful fall clothes was a must. I wish I'd had my camera (dead batteries and all) on my walk today. The chilly weather just made me appreciate the colored buildings and the textures more, for some reason. The birds were out and about in all their glory. Z and I passed a patch of them on a lawn where there were literally so many that you could HEAR them all chomping away at their lunch.

Today was the perfect day for coffee, but alas, I am far too poor for coffee filters, so I MacGyver-ed one out of a paper towel, and am now enjoying some DELICIOUS Vanilla Almond Creme coffee, courtesy of my lovely former acting teacher. I love the ritual/taste/general wonderfulness of coffee, however, I had to wean myself off of it earlier this year due to major caffeine headaches. When I'm rich enough to afford more than bread and peanut butter, I will buy a tub of decaf to start my mornings off right.

Speaking of being rich, I had two job interviews in as many days! And they both were fantastic. The first was at a high-end women's retail store, where the manager and I had a really great conversation about fashion and theatre. She seemed to like me a lot and told me she would call me next week. The next one was a bagel/coffee place closer to my apartment. Basically she offered me the job on the spot, but I told her I'd need a night to think about it. It'd be steady hours, but it seems like not a lot of flexibility in terms of asking off or switching shifts with people (the rest of the employees are U students, so their days aren't open), and I don't want another job like that. Sooo.....I have to call the retail job tonight and basically ask if she's made a decision, because I have to let the bagel shop know by tomorrow. I'm nervous to call and make that demand, because I really want the retail job, buuuuut....I don't know. I have to call no matter what. And I have about an hour in which to do so.

Long story short, though, I guess I have a job! Which is AWESOME because I was starting to get worried.

So because my camera batteries are dead, I settled for some Photobooth fun on my Mac, which I haven't indulged in in a long time. I'm sitting on my couch curled up with a giant sweater, scarf, and cup of coffee, and here I intend to stay. Happy autumn, everyone!

That incredibly awesome ring used to be my grandmother's. My staple/favorite random piece.

what a piece of work is man

I had an insane burst of creative energy yesterday. I woke up and immediately wanted to DO something. So I cut up my clothes. I've been dying to try recreating old, unworn garments, and I finally just did it. (My inspiration comes from this brilliant blogger: New Dress A Day) Of course, I'm far too poor to own a sewing machine, so for this project, I just used some scissors. And a needle and thread when my scissors got too happy.

This first shirt I got from a friend as she was purging her closet. She, in turn, had gotten it as a gift from her sister's semester in Ireland. It had never been worn, for good reason. Neither of us really understood the shape or concept of it, but I took it, thinking I'd try it out (which I never did.) I had it thrown in my Goodwill bag when my cutting insanity began yesterday.

Here's the BEFORE shot:

BEFORE shot. Notice the weird not-quite-a-skirt apron-y thing at the bottom.

It's got some really great detailing up at the top that I didn't get a close-up shot of. Totally worth saving.

And AFTER!

It's sheer, so it's just a great cute overlay that I ended up getting a lot of compliments on. And of course the drawstring at the bottom ripped after a day of wear, so I ended up doing some mending at the end of the day, but it should be able to withstand all sorts of adventures now.

The next piece I cut up was an itchy black dress that I wore maybe once. It's an odd shape, and just so hot and itchy that it, too, was in my Goodwill bag.

Pretty blah.

But check out the great ruffles!

I ended up chopping off the entire bottom of the dress, cutting right up the center seam and removing the tiny buttons on the front, and making a little ruffly shrug. Granted, the inside of the shoulders is still pretty itchy, but with some creativity I can fix that in no time.

My bout of creative energy didn't end there yesterday. I picked up my guitar and found some free lessons online. G maj, A maj, and C maj chords accomplished! Of course, I couldn't do them for you off-hand right now, but give me time! I'll be rockin' and rollin' before you know it.

I tried working on the layout/design of the blog, but nothing really came of it. It will definitely continue to change as inspiration comes to me, but this is good enough for now. My main focus right now has been finding a survival job. Why does it feel so difficult to do things without money? I know there's tons of free stuff in the city, and yet my first three weeks here have mostly been spent on the couch.

I'm off to rehearsal now. Looking forward to a date night with Z, who's been busy with his first week of school. Later, gators.